Ancient moon priestesses were called virgins. ‘Virgin’ meant not married, not belonging to a man - a woman who was ‘one-in-herself’. The very word derives from a Latin root meaning strength, force, skill; and was later applied to men: virle. Ishtar, Diana, Astarte, Isis were all all called virgin, which did not refer to sexual chastity, but sexual independence. And all great culture heroes of the past, mythic or historic, were said to be born of virgin mothers: Marduk, Gilgamesh, Buddha, Osiris, Dionysus, Genghis Khan, Jesus - they were all affirmed as sons of the Great Mother, of the Original One, their worldly power deriving from her. When the Hebrews used the word, and in the original Aramaic, it meant ‘maiden’ or ‘young woman’, with no connotations to sexual chastity. But later Christian translators could not conceive of the ‘Virgin Mary’ as a woman of independent sexuality, needless to say; they distorted the meaning into sexually pure, chaste, never touched.
Of course it’s possible, but it totally depends on the person and the situation. Sometimes we think it will be a big deal and it’s not– even the first time. Sometimes we think it’s casual but then get surprised by how emotional we feel. (You can also have emotional feelings from just kissing someone, or even just having a crush, so it’s not just about sex. We’re complicated creatures)
Some people have casual sex, even for their first time, and don’t care if it doesn’t lead to anything. Others really care a lot that the relationship continues after the sex. It sounds like you’re from the second group. If you’re getting signals that all this guy friend wants to do is have sex with you once, it’s probably not going to end with you feeling really good about it. Ask yourself this: Can you have sex with him and then go back to being just friends, being his booty call, or not ever talking again. If that’s going to make you unhappy, and our feeling is that it might, wait until you meet someone you know will want to create a real relationship with you, and not just a one-night stand. This friend may be fun for flirting, but you deserve something more real. Let us know how things go.
"i don’t support feminism because i don’t hate men"
Wait, wait, wait, I have an amazing new idea. How about we fix the American school system.