Your value doesn’t come from who you have or haven’t slept with. It doesn’t come from where you fall on the bell-curve of starting sexual activity, whether you were precocious or a late bloomer. Your value as a person comes from how you act and how you make others feel. It’s about what you bring to the table as a whole person, not how many vaginas you’ve managed to talk your way into.
From our quote collection, this one from "The Problem With Male Virginity" in Paging Dr. Nerdlove

Anonymous asked:

odd question, and yes I'm female. what is a "cherry", and does every female have one?

There are no odd questions, Anonymous, just odd slang terms!

Aside from being a deliciously sweet small red fruit, cherry can also be a somewhat vulgar slang* term for:

a) a hymen

b) the blood you allegedly see when the hymen is ‘broken’

c) a vagina or vulva

d) the concept of virginity itself

In fact, it’s so widely used that we picked cherries as the logo for our film How To Lose Your Virginity. So when someone tells you they ‘popped her cherry’ they usually mean they ‘broke’ someone’s hymen, often followed by the other gross and meaningless phrase ‘I took her virginity’

The slang is pretty useless since:

a) the state–or existence–of someone’s hymen has nothing whatsoever to do with their sexual status. Or whether there has ever been a penis near it.

b) not all females have vaginas or hymens, either because they are trans or they have a medical condition.

c) not all females bleed when they have any kind of penetrative vaginal sex

d) virginity is a just concept for you to define or reject, so it can’t be taken, created or destroyed.

We still like our logo because it lets us set the stage for the thorough myth-busting we do during the film. There’s so much more to say about hymens, and you can read more about that at our Hymenology category on our main blog.

*There are more definitions in the Urban Dictionary, and I’m so happy that the top two totally challenge virginity myths. 

At about age 14, boys feel like they have to start bullshitting about their sexual exploits in order to survive. The pressure on these kids is just too great for them to speak frankly about it. Ignore what everyone says about their sex lives. They are lying, all of them, at least a little.


In her new exhibit,  A Woman’s Room OnlineArtist Amy Roth Davis turned misogynistic messages, rape and death threats sent to women online into sculptures. 

The title of the show is meant, in part, to reference a feminist art installation created in 1972 called, Womanhouse. Womanhouse was organized by Judy Chicago and Miriam Schapiro, co-founders of the California Institute of the Arts (CalArts) Feminist Art Program. In that exhibit, an entire house was taken over by a group of feminist women artists and each room became an installation art or performance space.”

Roth took an office space and transformed it i order to “show the viewer what it can feel like to be targeted in your place of work, over multiple years with aggressive online stalking and harassment.”

I, and many, many others contributed messages that we’ve received. Thank you, Amy, 

To me, what had transpired was a casual exchange between friends. Because he’d laughed at my jokes and called himself a feminist, I naively assumed we were on the same page. But we didn’t talk about sex before actually having sex, and as anyone who isn’t an idiot will tell you, a big part of having a safe, healthy, satisfying sex life is constant communication. When you’re younger and inexperienced, it can sound more fun and spontaneous to just claw at someone’s pants until they come and damn the consequences. It’s easy to overlook the sometimes boring technical questions that make sex safe and enjoyable for both partners, questions like: Are we moving too fast? What does consent mean to you? How many drinks have you had? Have you been tested recently? What’s your preferred method of contraception? What kind of sex are you into? What are your likes/dislikes? Do you really want to be having sex with me right now? We could just go back to groping each other and drinking tea. Really. I’m good with that.

"How Not To Lose Your Virginity" Consent is for everyone.

Anonymous asked:

if you practice with toys before actual sex and you bleed, will you bleed during your first time to actually lose your virginity?

I’m going to assume you’re asking about penetration of the vagina with sex toys (so if you’re not, apologies). The thing about bleeding is that it’s basically a reflection of how sensitive the tissue is at that time, so it’s hard to know whether you’ll bleed during intercourse or not.

As I wrote in this Ask Trixie post:

"It depends on various factors, like whether you’re sufficiently aroused and lubricated, how rough your partner is, how elastic your hymen is, or whether you have any medical conditions that might cause bleeding. Sometimes there’s a lot of blood, sometimes there’s some spotting and just as often there’s no blood at all (which is how it went for me)."

Either way, seeing blood has nothing to do with whether you’re a virgin or not. You get to decide what counts: sex toys? penises? fingers? if you want to count anything or not.